A worker bee

I have never been very good at kissing ass to get what I want. What do I want? Clients of course.

There is a dance involved with hooking in a potential client. Sometimes this involves things like: flattery, sucking up, charming, convincing, over selling… basically a bit of ass kissing.

As much as I like to pay my rent every month on time and in full, I do not like having to put on a show for someone in order to do so. My work speaks for itself, as do my results.

If you have some work that needs doing, I will do it and I will do it well. If I see a gap, I will alert you to it minus the sugar-coated sweet-talk. This works. The clients I have appreciate the way I engage with them in a direct manner, but that doesn’t work for everyone. Some like to be coaxed.

Yes, you need a new website, because your current one is doing you no favours.

You don’t know much about SEO? Yeah – I can tell – I can help.

If I look at it objectively, I can see that a bit more ‘ego management’ would perhaps help me along or at least just being a bit less direct. If there is one thing I have learnt, people do not want to hear the truth, when it makes them look or feel bad. Business, for this reason, is a bit of a dance.

I wish I could hire someone to find me clients and I could just do the work.

I am a worker bee and I am okay with this.

Getting great feedback

When a client loves the work done for them it is always such a victory. Such a relief too for some reason. As if it would be a total disaster. I refuse to take on jobs where I am not 100% sure I can pull it off. Despite that – great feedback is always a serious win.

It is almost overwhelming.

All of the stress

Until now I never understood why almost all of my previous bosses tended to look like they were on the brink of having either a nervous break down or throwing a massive tantrum. I used to smirk at them, snort self-righteously when they were out of ear shot and think to myself: how hard could it possibly be?

I take it all back.

Knowing what I know how, I wonder how more of them were not losing their minds with worry. The stress. The angst. The business woes.

Being responsible for other people, their jobs and salaries, their well-being, productivity – everything. Making the big decisions. Having to be fair. Meeting deadlines. Coordinating all efforts so that they look seamless. Paying the bills. Bringing in the big clients/donors/money. Hiring, firing. Running an office. Keeping track of everything and everyone. It is a lot. It is intense.

For all intents and purposes HeyJen is a small operation – yet the stress is constant. Being the alpha and omega is not as easy as I once thought. This became very clear from day one.

Wish I knew when I was working for a boss that it is pretty rad to be looked after. A fixed salary paid on the same day every month. A boss to ask for advice, guidance or even a decision. A comfortable environment that someone else takes care of for you. That’s a good deal.

If you are thinking of starting your own business – do it. Just be ready for the pressures that come with it. They are very real and will consume you if you do not manage them wisely from the start. Those people that say “it isn’t easy, being the boss” or “being an entrepreneur is hard” – they are right. Heed the warning. I didn’t.

Peace and quiet

After years of working in an office I have always imagined working from home to be the best-case scenario. Being in your own space. Not having to wear pants. Not having to wake up early to get ready. Or not having to get ready or ‘wake up’ at all. Being able to make your own lunch in your own kitchen every day. Cutting your costs. Never having to really speak to anyone. Working your own hours. Being the boss. King of the castle.

It is horrendous. It is all of those things, but all of those things do nothing for motivation or time-keeping. Let me tell you, once you have no motivation, you are well and truly fucked. I like to call it the: being-home-bound-spiral.

First, I started waking up later and later.

Then, I started, staying in my pajamas. Not bothering to do anything with my hair. Or sometimes even not brushing my teeth. If I am working alone at home, why bother?

This results in working strange (read: stupid) hours. Being in a perpetual state of chilled-out home vibes or on the other hand, not being able to unwind at the end of a long day because you live at the ‘office’.

Then the demise. Taking an afternoon nap. Sleeping late. Finding ways to distract myself with domestic chores. Playing with my cat. Just generally not working as much as I could or should.

The result is spectacular. This can wait until tomorrow. Why did they arrange such an early appointment? Just one more YouTube video.

Oh. My God.

I need some human interaction.

I forgot how to human.

I have missed having people around me in my work environment. Never thought it was something that was worth missing when I worked at large organisations. Not only is it the interaction – internal conversation is not as fun as real conversation. It is also (and mainly) the fact that I have to at least try, a little.

Working around other people generally means that I have to get up on time, be dressed, be presentable, be prepared and be awesome. Somewhere in there lies the secret to productivity. Where I do not know. I was too busy working from home to look.

Now? I am renting office space.

Hoorah!